From: Capt. Bob A Lou
To: Leon Panetta, Director, United States Central Intelligence Agency
RE: Business proposition
Hi Leon! How's the wife?
Listen, I've got an idea I'd like to run by you. You know that deal (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_cia_secret_program;_ylt=AqsA32Dhoha2HP3ysh...) that Porter made with Eric. Well, I can do it cheaper, with a lower profile.
Look, I can give you a great deal on NOT assassinating Al-Qaida (you know, I always want to put a "u" in there) leaders and pesky Iraqi Shiites: $1 Very Large per year.
None of my people will be induced to reveal the program. No one will be hurt. I'll simply put the money (in used $20s and $50s ok? But bundled in stacks of $1000) in a few banks, and no one will be the wiser. I won't buy any weapons. I won't train a bunch of neo-Crusaders to go rampaging through Iraqi traffic circles, I'll just put the money to good use, maybe start a health co-op and buy a ranch or two.
I'm sure the R's will go along with the plan. What's $1VL compared with what Haliburton gets? Plus, I'll make fewer waves and you can assure both the D's and the R's that you've got a plan to deal with the Al-Qaida leadership.
Give me a call, or come on out and we'll float the Missouri. Life is good here in Montana. It could be better, for both me and you.